adventurebarbie

worked from really early in the morning,this is how small they are:when the soap ladies arrived i had 70 more ready which meansaltogether 130 are done and 70 more to go, argh!the meeting didnt really go as i wanted it toafter i got really upset, as i havent been since a really long timecannot even remember when i was last angry inside like thatit just started growing around my stomach and i couldnt do anything about itno reasoning, no calming, then i even snapped at someonemmm not so good, interesting thothen i went here to write this to cool down a littlepromised myself to be done with the mini drawings today,because i havent been able to do anything else since three days nowand we have an opening in ten! well at least that will be great and fun

oh they look so beautifull! the soaps i meanthe ladies are lovely by the way, have to get their contacts,in case i wanna order more soap, hihithe first day they came with the whole familythe boss lady, daughter one younger man and a young girlthey just sat in our business meeting, but art said this isnormal in thailand, its a family businesstoday they came only the boss and her daughter thothen again the whole day mini drawingstill i almost fell asleep

the whole day doing mini drawings that will be inside the soapback achingtomorrow the soap ladies are coming to show the exampleso i have to make 200 of the little drawingscould only meditate in the morningoh and the postcards are finally ready, they look okat least only the letters are pink

did well, two drawings todaysolved the soap problem!met christina who was in the vipassana course,just walking around in the market(this market is in the center of chiangmai every sunday)she is from puerto rico gave her my nr, hope she is gonna phone meso i can show her the land foundation place

today the postcard print camewhat a disaster! the picter was pink! it was so ugly i had to laughso pilam, aoom and me to the printer, discussthey agreed to reprint and have it on monday, phew!met the lady who makes soap: explained her with the helpof art what i want her to doso now i just have to solve the problem what to make the little messages fromthat i wanna put inside the soap......mmmminvited the whole bunch of one year projecters, to have pizzathat was fun, i m stuffed

this project is about 4 months old nowwas very confused about it at first, but getting into it nowdecided to make this public, dont know why this was so difficultmaybe cos i know i will lose a lot of friends probablymaybe cos i m afraid people will not take my work serious anymoreoh whateverits fascinating and scarywill upload my diary of last months

worked two days to make postcard readynow its at the printergot to meditate only two hours a day last two daysnot good

as far as i can tell the land foundation is runby artist and wonderfull person kamin lertchaiprasert, there is a small gallery/studio on the edge of chiangmai, where i m staying and working nownext to the gallery there is a real meditation hall where i cando my three hours of practice a daybefore i left to the retreat i fixed "the internet" for them, but nowthey have decided to cut the line, cos its too expensive and not reliableso i will be a bit of irregular with uploadingfor the internet shop where i can connect gene, i have to bike 40 minutes

arriving to a place of a friend, the space is a bit like a storage/garagethere is a motorbike, stuff piled upthere are two guys (in waking life i do not know these people), very good friendswe are going to go outsome people are just leaving when i arrivethen i realize i have dreamed this before; something bad is about to happen:in the other dream the following happens:the people leaving are bad guys, they close the metal outside door, so when thebomb they have left in a cupboard goes of and a fire breaks out, we can not get out,cos we can not get to the key for the doorso in this dream i run after themthey havent closed the door completely yet-the place has a front on the water (like an old industrial building i used to live in)i m busy doing something here, when a storm starts outsidei m nakedonly socks on; gene (my laptop) is in the other room, this worries methe building starts shaking vilolently, outside on the water i see boats crashingand flying over the waterthe sky is flowing extremely fasti run into the other room and shout that the alarm is goingthey can not hear me, we cannot even hear the alarm signal over the noise,but they have seen the flashing lighti run back, not sure what to do: go out and risk being blown away or stayand risk the building crashing downthen the climax comesthe whole building shakes so violent, i have difficulty staying on my feetthings falling all aroundbuilding stays standing-we (me and three guys i know in the dream, but never before saw in waking life)are standing in a bar by the harbor celebrating we survivedall three have a bottle of champagne and champagne glassthey one by one fill the big lemonade glass i m holdingwhen it almost overflows i wave for them to stop, smiling inside,cos i dont wanna drink-

today flying to bankok,tomorrow morning taking bus to prachinburiat dhamma kamala for a vipassana coursebit nervous

packingbuying phonetaking train

buying some stuffjetlag is kicking in nowmeet ziggy and fabian, who have just arrived and have never been herethey are fun, we have dinner togetheri give them my bangkok map

was too early at the pantip plaza (giant computer store in bangkok)so walked around, took the elevator to the top of the bayoke sky hoteli think its one of the highest building in the city and its indeed an amazing viewbut they had this horrific children activity thing going on on the observation floorat least four soundsystems blaring out this kind of cheap musicsomebody shouting thru a mikesome people in ugly big costumes trying to be funnykids didnt make a sound, they were hurrying to finish painting their gypsum modelsi escapedcouldnt get my battery repackednew one too expensive

arriving is like in a dream, my mind knows everything,my body hasnt arrived yet, find guesthouse, sleep two hoursmet juergen in the emporiumnever travelled on the skytrain yetfeels like another country completelywe meet some of his friends and have dinnerone of them is francis who is organizing a media-arts festival hereit was supposed to happen end of february, but cos of the tsunami has been movedto june

almost no sleepj&r brought me to airport, that was really nicethe airport security is very stressed out at the moment

having blood tested, oh i really dont like itfeels like they always taking too muchdidnt faintorganizing hundreds of little thingsdinner with a&atold them about theproject, and that i will need the appartement to deliver itthey took it pretty ok, but i think its a bit a shock for themwish i could think of some other way to do this

arrived by city nightline at 9 this morningbit nervous but slept goodpicked up my insurance stuff and borrowed bike from nancy10:30 meeting midwife karien, she is coolheard the tiny heartbeat! almost had to cry11:15 echo, everything looks good, the little thing actually movedand waved the little arms!13:30 vaccinations15:30 meetings at dasarts, still not ready to tell them,they were a bit surprised, i think, that i still havent send in my proposal17:00 meeting felix, about his city of the blind project (saramango)19:00 dinner at rosaexhausted

driving to zurich, feeling so sad so sad, leaving with the traint. doesnt realize it yet, he only realizes when i m away that i m away

having to edit, but not doing muchfeeling very weakeverybody hanging by the fire and generally being lazyfor dinner we went out going down the mountain in the dark with the sledges

we are in a space below groundwe are trying to find the backdoor, it seems closedthe space is painted white but there is no direct lightthere is a small niche in the ceiling, felix explains me that thisis where they smuggled silver thru in earlier times, but i can notlisten well cos its very cold in here and humidi think there is water on the floorfinally we go out into the streetsunshine suddenly everyone is gonethey have forgotten about the rabbits that should be taken alongthey have dissapeared and i can not catch them aloneso i go thru the small streetswhen i have to go down a stairwell i can see into a garden and there are two ladies and two rabbitsthe ladies talk very loud and the rabbits are hugei reach the space where the others areit has very big windows, they have decided to stay herei tell them about the forgotten rabbitsannet ???? jumps on her bike and drives straight to where the rabbits arei m in a place where i have to answer questionseach question gives a number and all the numbers together give another numberthis is the only way to get objectswhen i have found out how to draw the system to fill in the numbers,i have lost a lot of questions alreadyin the end i get a comb anyways

on a boat crossing a lagoonthe goal is to get to a city, but we have to go around,cos the land is flooded1- i recognize the place from another dreamthat time we were looking for a tower and this one was the wrong onewe climb onto a dam with bright green grasswe see the place behindlast time it was an old ruin, a wall cut out of earth with little windows in itnow it is a totally plastic appartement block,like a doll housewith pink and white interiorssome people go straight in and i see them thru the windows,going into the appartements they sit down on sofas and chairs2- there are a lot of people waiting to be transportedwe find a lift. i think the driver is j.we drive really fast on a tiny 1 lane road, very thick forest aroundthe road becomes covered with small wooden beamsbut we keep driving fast untill the road becomes totally covered and shadowedlianas the size of trees cover the roadthere working men there with big machines and they are bragging:that it was such a big job, and: look how big, and: wow it took them a whole dayfinally they let us thru and we follow a small alley thru the still burning plantsa cinder falls on my arm

had made observations in video, which willb public soon, when i get more space on serverthis morning i was supposed to show them to g. and j.and somehow miraculously half of them disappeared when i draggedand dropped themthen i just showed my movement sketches livethat worked very fine tooanyhow: here drawings of the disappeared movement sketches

human bag 2

proof speed of thought

proof time is motion

proof absolute stillness

proof greenness

human bag

lost all directionlike an open wound asking for itopen up to the senseinsane sensesblood rushing the other wayscratch me scratch meyour eyes say scratch metill i can breath againand i complyscraping rubbing scratching scorchingtill you can breath againlost all coherencelike a leaking rain jacketdrowning your sensesheavy sensesskin feeling the other waystretch me stretch meyour eyes say stretch metill i can breath againand i complypulling pushing stretching foldingtill you can breath againscratch me scratch meyour eyes say stretch meand i complyand i comply

she can barely hope to keep upthis speed is outrageousher brain rolls around as if its doinglaps inside the tiny pool of her skulland every time it turns the brain can hearthe raging crowds on the sides,roaring, screaming, shouting,urging it to keep going faster

voice over IP, is saving me from sudden death by telephone bill

the need for more information about my businesshas been brought to my attentionmore records r neededmayb they thought i was doing nothing at allmayb they thought i was doing very littlethis might b truethe record does not equal the experiencepitty